Numbers that blow me away

There is no point to this post... it's just a bit of brain flatulence while I wait for my son to get his poop out, and my colleague to reply to an email, before heading to bed.

1. We went to the pediatrician today. At 7 weeks, the boy is 6.4kg (14.1 pounds) and 63cm (24.8 inches). I nearly fainted when I saw the numbers on the scale. I came in wearing him in a sling, and after the weigh-in the doctor said, "Doesn't it hurt your neck and shoulders to carry him around like that?" I said, "Yes, it does. I guess I was too tired to notice."

2. Upon logging in, I found out that this will be post #144. Can it be true?? Have I written that much? It doesn't seem so.

3. Random news blurbs I wish I hadn't read before bed:
-Estimated 100,000 dead in Burma/Myanmar, and the military junta still won't let aid workers in.
-Estimated 50,000 dead in China from the earthquake.
-Estimated 9 billion people on Earth by 2050. Nine billion, y'all! In the year I was born, there were 4 billion people on Earth.
-The US debt is over nine trillion dollars and counting. And that's only what the government owes... I don't even want to know where the private debt stands at the moment. Nor do I want to know what the dollar's freefall in value does to that debt... sadly I suspect it increases it even further.

I don't know how to juxtapose 1 through 4, only to say that I cannot wrap my head around any of them at the moment. We seem to be living in a time of many, many zeros.

The grass is brown everywhere

This article in a London newspaper, Sexist culture drives women out of science, is likely to start another long conversation with the same people saying the same things. It sucks for women everywhere. Still. How many different ways must we say this one, simple concept (which counterintuitively seems to be quite difficult for many to grasp): Women = Men.

I vaguely remember some discussion thread somewhere that women scientists and engineers must have an easier time in the private sector (than in government or academia) because companies can't afford to treat half their workforce like crap. It turns out that STEM women are still a much, much smaller fraction than 50%, and yes, apparently they can afford it.

I don't feel like I have anything new to add to the conversation, other than I read the article and then was wondering just how much longer this nonsense is going to go on. Will my granddaughter, like me, have a coworker at a government research laboratory hand her a CD filled with journal articles claiming that women are not as smart/good at STEM/spatially proficient as men?

*sigh*. This is getting tired, y'all.

10 days

Nothing to share on the "negotiating a first faculty position" front... the provost (with whom I must do most of the haggling) has been out of town, and since I won't start until January 2009 there isn't much of a rush to get a signed contract (on my part or theirs). I did talk to the department chair where I'll have my majority appointment and he agreed with most of my requests, except for the space demand... but he admitted space was a big problem at the moment and they're working on it (because it affects not just me, but several other professors as well). It crossed my mind to request a double-wide trailer out on the waterfront park on campus... is that too diva of me?

Most of my work plans this week have stalled due to the boy. He is going through a big growth spurt and has been eating every 1.5 hours or so, day and night, for the past 10 days. Given that it takes him 30 minutes to nurse and about 15 minutes to fall asleep, that leaves me about 45 minutes at a time to do something or sleep myself. I think he's coming out of it, since yesterday he slept for 4 hours at a time twice, which meant I was able to sleep for about 3 hours at a time twice (Happy Mother's Day to me!). Also, if the kid keeps this up, he will be like 5 meters tall by the time he's 5. I'm sure he's over 60 cm and 6 kg by now, judging by the clothes and diapers that no longer fit him. We'll find out at the doctor's appointment on Thursday (he is 6 weeks old, if you're counting).

However, I was able to submit a manuscript which was in my "not quite DOA" folder... it's been rejected (or accept with major revision) from three journals... all with the same complaint: no preliminary data. I now submitted it to basically the bottom-most tier journal out there in this area (judging by the papers I've seen in there so far), but it's a new journal so I'm hoping that it is actually an up-and-coming journal and not an eternal dumping ground for papers which can't get published elsewhere. It's not that I think my manuscript is bad (nor did most of the reviewers)... I think it raises good points. But they are theoretical points for which data do not exist at present (at least not to my knowledge), and it would be very difficult for me to get these data without a nice fat NSF grant or about 10 years. Anyway, I think it should be published without the data, since I haven't seen these points made elsewhere, so let's see if the fourth time is the charm here. Besides, what the hell is the problem with a theoretical paper with no data? Are these papers no longer allowed for some reason? Or at least, no longer allowed for us mere mortals in the field (I've seen all manner of naval-gazing papers recently from several of The Big Boys recently in Science and Nature, along with the two top journals in this field)? If I can get the thing published, it will be a nice incentive for me to start collecting those data as a side project in my shiny new faculty position.

And so... since the boy seems to be down for (possibly, hopefully) another multi-hour nap, I will head to the shower now... my first shower in 10 days. I talked to my mom yesterday, and she said I reminded her of that Murphy Brown episode (after she had the baby) when she spent the entire episode in her bathrobe, trying to take a shower (and never succeeded). Yeah, well, that was just 24 hours. I hope 10 days of birch pollen and road dust and dried milk spit-up and dog fur doesn't clog the drain....

The Haggle

Pretty soon it will be time to start the negotiations for my new position... last week was the finals week of classes at the university, and the department heads (this is a joint position, 67/33% in the two departments) begged me for a week to finish their grading and whatnot before we started. Big Relief on my end, because I've never negotiated an academic position before... actually ANY position. I've read a thousand advice columns (like here and here) and below is what I've come up with... if anyone can see something I've missed, I would be hugely thankful if you commented:

1. Salary: Aim a bit high. I found 2008 salary information for the university for average salaries of each faculty rank, however I couldn't find them for my departments. I know that across disciplines/departments there are big differences, and I'm assuming that the natural sciences are below the engineering schools, but above the social sciences in terms of pay. So, I'll ask for the salary of the average associate professor and expect them to counteroffer with something lower. Or I could just ask the department heads for their salary averages... or could I? I'll also try to negotiate for them to pay 12-month salary for the first three years, until I can get some grant money flowing in and cover summer salary with the grants.

2. Space: I will need an office (of course), plus lab space and office space for my staff. Most of my research is computer-based, and the field component doesn't require any wet labs or fume hoods... just a couple of closets to store equipment in.

3. Staff: I'm going to ask for salary for a 2-year postdoc, plus stipend and tuition for two grad students (one Master's, one Ph.D.). The postdoc I probably could manage without (although one would definitely be a big help), but the grad students I stand firm on.

4. Equipment: 4 computers with mega-processing and memory, plus large monitors. Floating licenses for some of the major software packages I use (which the university already has, but I know enough to ask for 4 new floating licenses to be purchased, not to just get access to the existing and probably overused ones...).

5. Slush funds: This was a recommendation from one article that I can't find now. The author recommended asking for about $5-$10K to use without the department head's approval on the little things that crop up; software, data acquisition, books, publishing fees, last-minute travel to a conference, etc. Seems like a good idea.

6. Teaching load: Actually, I don't think this is a negotiating point for me, since both department heads said new faculty don't teach their first year, teach one class the second year, and two the third year (normal load is 2 classes per year). That seems pretty reasonable to me.

7. Day care: Help getting a slot at the new on-campus day care facility for the boy. This one is also non-negotiable... or I guess I could ask for a nanny :-). It's not a big city and there doesn't seem to be too many day care options.

8. Moving expenses: One of the articles recommended this as a compromise for a larger salary. The author said that universities prefer the one-time expenses because, unlike salary which increases as a percentage of the last year's amount, the one-time expenses have no long-term consequences. So hopefully I can ask for a good chunk of my expenses to be covered if I have to take a considerable hit on the salary. Moving here was damn expensive, and moving back (now with the boy in tow) will be even more so.

9. Service responsibilities: This is the one area I don't really know how to negotiate... do department heads/administrators really just put faculty on committees, or do faculty members get some say? I have no problem doing service, and there are some committees that I think I would enjoy (or anyway, enjoy more than others) and wouldn't have a problem being on them. Of course, maybe those are the choice ones that go to the full profs, while the new profs get the service equivalent of scrubbing toilet bowls with a toothbrush. If anyone can enlighten me on this point, that would be great.

Hell, if he can do it...

(Off-topic: I'm attempting to get back to the academic blogging, and away from the child stuff, since I never intended this blog to be about child-rearing. But yes, the kid is kicking my ass... I look like the typical first-time mother of a newborn who hasn't showered in a week (guilty) and has been surviving on whatever food in the house can be prepared and eaten with one hand (guilty). Also, for as much shit that I gave my friends for using their carseat as a crib for the first three months of their kid's life, I must admit that the carseat I got as a hand-me-down makes an awesome rocking chair which can be rocked with my foot while I type my blog. Oh, so very, very guilty.....)

I was asked to review a book proposal by a publisher. Last year I was approached by this same publisher (not sure if it's a coincidence) by email and asked if I was thinking about writing a book... why yes, yes I have have been thinking about it for several years. But always there has been a voice in the back of my head saying "Do you really have the time to write one? Is it in your best interests professionally to write one? And do you really have anything worthy and lengthy enough to say?" Always the answer to these have been "Probably not," especially when I've read the guidelines for a book proposal.

This proposal I'm reviewing is very short and a bit on the crappy side; to give the author a break, he's a quite young, freshly-minted Ph.D. I'm surprised that the editor didn't reject it out of hand, assuming the editor actually read it (it is only 3 pages long, and at least the publisher's website details a proposal outline which is at least 10 pages long). Possibly they passed it onto the review stage because the topic would be interesting. I don't really know what this guy was thinking, saying that this book would have no competitors because the topic is so novel as to have been never written about before. No, sir, that's actually not true, and in fact if you had properly done the market research you'll see there are literally library shelves worth of books on the topic. What would have made this proposal very, very good would have been a section describing how this work fits in and adds to all of the other work that has been done. In fact, one of the reasons why the proposal is so short is that it doesn't include this section, which the publisher recommends in their proposal outline.

I dunno... I'm most of the way through writing this review, and I can't help but thinking, if this guy can make it past the first editor read-through stage and to the reviewer stage... why can't I write mine? I could at least write a better proposal, that's for sure.

Got it!

Today I was offered the position I interviewed for last week... apparently I did make some sense to someone over there. So I will finish out my work here, and as of January 2009 I will start my assistant professor position in a part of the States which looks so much like here, environment- and weather-wise, that over 10% of the locals claim ancestry from this country, and still speak the language. In fact, I have no excuse to let my language skills I learned here get rusty... even some of the street signs are in this language.

Today, to congratulate myself on the job offer and on submitting an NSF grant review two weeks early, I took the boy downtown with a couple of bottles, met up with some expat friends, and had a beer while taking in the May Day festivities.

But tomorrow, back to work!

Uncle

Last week I officially met my limit... hello, limit!

Traveling internationally with a 3-week-old and then having 2.5 days of interviews and presentations for a faculty position on very little sleep with jetlag on top is totally nuts.

Actually, the boy was great... he didn't cry on the plane, grandma stayed with him in the hotel (and they walked around campus and the town during the day), and he happily ate whatever was put into his mouth (breast or bottle). The school is nice, lots of potential collaborators, and the town would be a great place to raise my son (and do a lot of winter sports!).

Me however... well, I just hope I was making sense. Faculty job interviews are rough enough on a normal amount of sleep. Thankfully I have the schedule printed out because I doubt I could name half of the people I met with.

But now we're home, and the thought of just hanging out at home and reviewing and writing stuff (with many napping opportunities) is a very, very wonderful prospect!